It seems so often that I’m right about a relationship.  Yes, I was one of those desperate people you scoff at at a book store.  One of those people who read books written to help understand women and how to have a successful relationship.  I studied those books and tested my knowledge with my friends and their relationships.  That became my job, to fix relationships, to be a mediator.  It was fun.  I was a sucker for power and power I had, but still I was timid.  My first attempt was with a girl over 2000 miles away and wasn’t a looker.  If you squinted when you were drunk she might have looked like some last minute action before you left a party.  Even worse, a box of rocks sounded more intelligent than this poor girl when rattled.  Yes, I dated a dumb whore over long distance.  But if that doesn’t make me pathetic, I had to fight for her against a dude who had no interest and was in jail.  I won eventually, but I think it’s because of the fact that she gave up on him.  My pretty words eventually had her wrapped around my finger.  My knowledge, she had no chance.  She did set me for kinky-ness though.  I let that relationship go for two months and the last month couldn’t even really count.  She lost her home several times and was unable to talk on the phone.  It got so bad that she was reduced to contacting me at school through email and sending letters through the mail.  Once we got down to only letters I said things had to change.  I got 10 minutes a week of talking.  Two weeks later I demanded more time.  This poor poor girl, trying to figure out where she was going to live and everything.  She made it to 20 minutes a week on the phone.  It wasn’t enough.  I should have known from the beginning it wasn’t going to work, but I was desperate.  I chalked it up to long distance girlfriends don’t work.  It crushed me, but not as much as it crushed her.  She was willing to return to her abusive father’s house just so I’d keep calling her my girl (he had free long distance).  But I crushed her and flat out said no.  To make matters worse, I did it a week or so before Christmas, mostly so I didn’t have to get her a gift as well.  I got her gift in the mail around february, which happens to coincide my birthday.  It felt good that I left an impression, but still I felt like a cad.  My next girlfriend I got mostly because of her antagonizing my first, but that’s a story for another time.